Do You Remember Who You Are?
Related posts: Journey to Self, Am I Strong or Weak?, Who Am I?
We saw The Lion King last night at the Lyceum Theatre in London. Magnificent! I admit I’d forgotten so many of the meaningful lines in the story. The one that lingers in my mind for the single mom and others is:
“You have forgotten who you are. Look inside yourself. You are more than what you have become. Remember who you are. Remember. . .”
– Mufasa speaking to Simba
After the earthquake of my divorce I had managed to buy an older home near where I grew up. My high school was having their twenty-year reunion and I did not attend. I didn’t feel like it. Or maybe I still didn’t know where I fit. Mary, a friend I’d known since childhood, who had long-since moved away didn’t let me off so easily. She managed to find out where I lived and came by unexpectedly. There were always lots of bicycles in the driveway with my three and all their friends. Mary had to make her way over, around and through them to get to the front door. Not one to beat around the bush, she pointedly asked me, “What happened?” She made reference to all the bikes and kid stuff, looked me in the eye and said, “This isn’t you. What happened?”
I told my mother later and she surprised me with, “She didn’t know the man.” Meaning of course my ex-husband. I’d put on a mask and worn it for years doing what I thought was the best for everyone around me. I had forgotten who I was. It took years and remarriage to a different kinda guy for me to remember who I was.
If you have had life experiences that put you in a similar place here are a few tips:
- Accept that this has happened to you.
- Take a personality profile and be completely honest about it.
- Talk with very close, trustworthy friends about what has happened.
- Avoid people with whom you alter your true self.
- Keep a record or journal as you recognize little, even tiny differences in your approach to life.
- Honor who you are.
Additional resources: Personality Principles, Enneagram
Gail raised three children as a single mother before she remarried. She has experienced the potholes, pests, and perils of being the single head-of-household. As an educator in regular and special education for twenty years she knows a great deal about child development and how to handle kids. She is the founder of SMORE for Women, a nonprofit whose goal is Single Moms, Overjoyed, Rejuvenated, and Empowered. She is a Certified Professional Coach and her stories have been published in several Christian books and magazines. Her book, Living Learning Loving is available on CreateSpace, Amazon, and Barnes and Noble online.
[…] Related post: Who Are You? […]
Gail you hit the nail on the head. So often I think we single moms get so worn down we just don’t notice and celebrate the unique ways God made us. I especially love your advice to ‘avoid people with whom you alter your true self’. OH IF ONLY I can remember that in the future. Sometimes it feels so good that anyone at all wants to be in our company and we do alter our true selves. So very hard is the lesson that sometimes alone is better. Thank you. Hoping to see you at The LIfe of a Single Mom Conference in Baton Rouge this year.
Patti in Colorado
Very well put, Patti. I agree sometimes “alone is better.” I wish I was going to the conference, but will not be there this year. I hope that we will actually meet one day.
I’m afraid for some of us, especially me, we never got to know who we really are. If our home or family of origin was overprotective or controlling and if we attended strict churches It perhaps set us up to be attracted to certain types of men that were overprotective, controlling, etc and after a while a light bulb goes off that says “hey wait a minute! This is not heathy or otherwise no longer works for me…” So here we are now navigating the single parent waters and trying to find out or remember who we really are! Oh if I only knew then what I know now how many different decisions would I have made!?!?
So true! Your words may help others. I wonder who else shares these thoughts?