2 Ways to Be Happy and at Peace
If you think I’m obsessed with boundaries you’d be partially right. Personality types and Boundary Setting are the two most powerful areas of knowledge that will preserve relationships and make you happier than any thing I know of. I can almost guarantee you that you will be pleased with the results if you simply learn and apply the knowledge about both. You will discover a new way of relating to others that will prove to bring peace and harmony into your friendships as well as your family gatherings.
I first studied personality types with the Littauers, Florence and Marita, her daughter. That was many years back and I continue to be impressed with the results when I’m quick enough to apply what I’ve learned. The Littauers designed their own profiles. Wired That Way books can be purchased wherever books are sold.
Kathryn Robbins, my publisher, has developed a user-friendly profile that you can buy from her site, Personality Principles.
I attended workshops to learn the Enneagram and expanded my knowledge of personalities that includes the shadow sides of our natures. If you are interested in going more deeply into the study, I recommend the Enneagram.
I have so many personality differences stories I could fill a small book. Once you recognize just how differently we are all wired it’s easy to understand how we behave and react in our own unique ways to similar situations.
Boundaries are another story. Over and over I hear from the women I coach how they have problems within their immediate families. Most of these issues could be solved with simple, not easy, but simple boundary setting. I’ve posted many times on this topic. I consider it to be one of the single most misunderstood subjects in our lives. Whether it is between parents and their children (grown or not), husbands and wives, employees and their employers, or friends the basic premise is the same. A great number of us don’t respect boundaries – our own or others’. We all are all aware of the Me, Too Movement. You may not think that this relates to you. And I hope it doesn’t. However, your boundaries may be breached in many ways. Some of those ways are not as obvious as others. If you are dreading the holidays because of the time you will be expected to spend with relatives it could be a boundary issue. If you find that you are often resenting fulfilling an obligation you just couldn’t say no to, you might be having a boundary issue. If you find that you are working overtime more than you coworkers you probably have a boundary issue.
Doctors Henry Cloud and John Townsend have written numerous books, thousands of recordings and videos dealing with boundaries. They say, “Boundaries are personal property lines that define who you are and who you are not, and influence all areas of your life.”
It is hard to see just how pervasive weak boundaries can be until you have a serious problem that is almost impossible to get out of. I encourage you to learn more about these two topics – personality types and boundaries.
Let me know how it helps. I’d love to hear from you.
I hold a degree from Lamar University in Speech and a Master’s from the University of Texas. I was an educator in regular and special education for twenty years, finishing my professional career as a Braille teacher. I am a Certified Professional Coach with Fowler International Academy. I married Sam after raising three children as a single mother. In 2007 I founded SMORE for Women. SMORE is a nonprofit association whose goal is Single Moms, Overjoyed, Rejuvenated, & Empowered. My stories have been published in several Christian books and magazines. My book, Living Learning Loving, published in July 2015, is available for purchase on Amazon.