Tips for Tough Times

Both research and experience show that when people with anger problems change their self talk, their anger de-escalates and they regain control. Keep a copy of these handy.

1. I don’t need to prove myself in this situation. I can stay calm.
2. No need to doubt myself; what other people say doesn’t matter. I’m the only person who can make me mad or keep me calm.
3. Time to relax and slow things down. Take a time out if you get tight.
4. My anger is a signal. Time to talk to myself and to relax.
5. It’s impossible to control other people and situations. The only thing I can control is myself, and how I express my feelings.
6. It’s OK to be uncertain or insecure sometimes. I don’t need to be in control of everything and everybody.
7. If people criticize me, I can survive that. Nothing says I have to be perfect.
8. If this person wants to go off the wall, that’s their thing. I don’t need to respond to their anger or feel threatened.
9. It’s nice to have other people’s love and approval, but even without it, I can still accept and like MYSELF.
10. People are going to act the way they want to, not the way I want.

I am a Certified Professional Coach and I hold a degree from Lamar University in Speech and a Master’s from the University of Texas. I married Sam after raising three children as a single mother. I was an educator in regular and special education for twenty years, finishing my professional career as a Braille teacher. In 2007 I founded SMORE for Women. SMORE is a nonprofit association whose goal is Single Moms, Overjoyed, Rejuvenated, and Empowered. My stories have been published in several Christian books and magazines. My Website.