What is Acceptance, 7 Steps to Get Past Divorce


7 Steps to Acceptance

I’ve been thinking about acceptance lately. You know what I mean? The acceptance in the Serenity Prayer,

“God grant me the courage to accept the things I cannot change.”

What does that mean exactly? After much thought this is the conclusion I’ve come to- Acceptance is the willingness to embrace what is.

We often hear people say, “It is what it is.” Maybe that’s what they mean. You may as well accept the situation because it is what it is.

There comes a time in life when what is can be the most difficult thing in the world to accept. I think of grief. When I’ve experienced gut-wrenching grief I can say I didn’t want to accept the loss of a person or a marriage.

Grief comes to all of us – uninvited. And yet with it comes unexpected gifts.

“Grief can awaken us to new values and new and deeper appreciations. Grief can cause us to reprioritize things in our lives, to recognize what’s really important and put it first. Grief can heighten our gratitude as we cease taking the gifts life bestows on us for granted.” – Roger Bertcshausen

When I’m knee deep in my sorrow it’s hard to think I can step up out of the bog and there will be a new day. And yet I know in my knower, that a new day will dawn.

In my book, Living Learning Loving, I list seven practical tips for transitioning out of the grief of a divorce. Here is the simple version:

  1. Treat yourself gently.
  2. Stay around positive people.
  3. Do something different.
  4. Set personal goals.
  5. Remove grief triggers.
  6. Make a plan.
  7. Do autopsy of previous relationship.

I grieve deeply and for too long. I know this about myself. And yet I also realize that one day the sorrow will ease and life will go on. If I want to live with an overcoming spirit I must walk through this time.

Gail smiling in purple suitI raised three children as a single mother before I remarried. I have experienced the potholes, pests, and perils of being the single head-of-household. As an educator in regular and special education for twenty years I know a great deal about child development and how to handle kids. I am the founder of SMORE for Women, a nonprofit whose goal is Single Moms, Overjoyed, Rejuvenated, and Empowered. I’m also a Certified Professional Coach and my stories have been published in several Christian books and magazines. My book, Living Learning Loving is available on Amazon.

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