Become the Parent -Building a Bond with Your Child

personality predicaments and the four colors in puzzle pieces

PARENTING YOUR CHILD

Session Four

The Parent-Child Bond

Were you able to identify how your personality affected your interactions with your child? Can you see how your child’s personality might cause a problem for the two of you?

  • In this session we will look at the Parent-Child Relationship. It is important that you develop a positive relationship. Here are just a few of the reasons:
  • Your relationship give your child a better chance of having happy relationships with others later in life.
  • Your relationships with your child helps him/her to regulate emotions in difficult situations.
  • A positive relationship promotes a child’s mental and emotional development.
    For more information go to ParentingNI

The purpose of this course is to improve your parent-child relationship. Understanding your child’s motivation will help achieve that goal.

Here are examples of each of the possible combinations that I learned from Florence Littauer.
If you are a:
Popular Sanguine and so is your child-remember your role. You may tend to want to have fun and not get much done. The Popular Sanguine child needs fun but also guidance.
Powerful Choleric and your child is a Popular Sanguine you may overwhelm your fun-loving child. Take time to have fun with your child.
Perfect Melancholy and your child is a Popular Sanguine relax about the details. Give your Popular child attention and affection.
Peaceful Phlegmatic and your child is a Popular Sanguine be aware of the need of child for attention. Make an effort to pay attention.

If you are a:
Popular Sanguine and your child is a Powerful Choleric be aware that he/she may take over your agenda. You must overcome your desire for fun and realize your child’s powerful nature.
Powerful Choleric and your child is also a Powerful your child may try to compete with you for control of the household. Define the roles for the child and affirm the child’s efforts.
Perfect Melancholy and your child is a Powerful Choleric accept that this may be the most exhausting combination. Do your best to find areas of agreement.
Peaceful Phlegmatic and your child is a Powerful Choleric be aware that the child may take over. Pay attention to what bothers you and do not let things go too long. Do not let the child wear you down.

If you are a:
Popular Sanguine and your child is a Perfect Melancholy respect the child’s space. Don’t force the child to speak or be outgoing. Accept him/her for who she/he is.
Powerful Choleric and your child is a Perfect Melancholy be sensitive to the child’s needs and moods. Motivate but be patient. Accept the child’s needs for details.
Perfect Melancholy and your child is also a Perfect be glad. This can be the best combination. Share your mutual sensitivities, avoid depression and keep standards reasonable.
Peaceful Phlegmatic and your child is a Perfect Melancholy enjoy each other and your mutual needs for quiet. Since neither of you initiate you must be the parent and lead. You may need to dig deeply when your child demonstrates depression.

If you are a:
Popular Sanguine and your child is a Peaceful Phlegmatic know that your child needs motivation and encouragement but do not embarrass him/her. Be sensitive to his/her feelings.
Powerful Choleric and your child is a Peaceful Phlegmatic realize that your child will leave decisions to others. You will have to teach your child to take responsibility for his or herself early. Do not allow yourself to do everything for this child.
Perfect Melancholy and your child is a Peaceful Phlegmatic allow specified down time. Consider the child’s need for comfort and rest. Hold the child responsible for him or herself.
Peaceful Phlegmatic and your child ia also a Peaceful you may find that neither of you has the energy to put into the relationship. You may not have a parent-child bond. You need to rise to the occasion and teach the child about self-discipline and goal setting. You must make the effort to build a bond.

Homework – Find your parent-child combination. Write it on a card or piece of paper. Put it in a place where you will see it throughout the day.

***

I hold a degree from Lamar University in Speech and a Master’s from the University of Texas. I was an educator in regular and special education for twenty years, finishing my professional career as a Braille teacher. I am a Certified Professional Coach with Fowler International Academy. I married Sam after raising three children as a single mother. In 2007 I founded SMORE for Women. SMORE is a 501 (c)3 nonprofit whose goal is Single Moms, Overjoyed, Rejuvenated, & Empowered. My stories have been published in several books and magazines. My book, Living Learning Loving, Insights and Encouragement on the Path of Motherhood is available for purchase on Amazon.

Gail headshot
Gail Cawley Showalter

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