Become the Parent – Points of View

personality predicaments and the four colors in puzzle pieces
Session Five

Conflict Avoidance

Who likes conflict? Not most people. Many of us will go to great lengths to avoid it. Our various points of view sometimes lead to conflicts. We all have personal points of view. My way of seeing situations probably differs from your way and your way may differ from your family members. In this session I will share ways to avoid conflict with each of the four personalities. It’s the very nature of the parent-child relationship that naturally leads to conflict. You, as the parent, want your child to be safe and close to you. The child wants to be free and grown-up. However, a close bond can still be achieved and I hope you will strive to make it so.

Let’s begin by identifying conflicts that occur between you and your child. Since you are following this course I assume that you have a conflict and want to resolve it. By identifying the conflicts on paper you may begin to see common threads in your disagreements. As you read the following lists jot down the ones that stand out for you with your child.

I’ve listed ways to avoid conflicts with each personality. Study the list that applies to your child’s personality.

Taken with permission from The Personality Compass

To Avoid Conflicts with POPULAR SANGUINES

  • Compliment in front of others
  • Give Attention
  • Overlook Details
  • Implement their creative ideas
  • Show flexibility
  • Provide Alternatives
  • Joke around
  • Avoid boredom

To Avoid Conflicts with POWERFUL CHOLERICS

  • Do not bother or interrupt them
  • Respect and praise them
  • Remember what they say
  • Be realistic
  • Be decisive
  • Avoid excuses
  • Try hard
  • Think of work as fun
  • Let them lead when possible

To Avoid Conflicts with PERFECT MELANCHOLIES

  • Care about quality
  • Finish what you start
  • Give them time
  • Be organized
  • Provide prood
  • Do not exaggerate
  • Focus on details
  • Do not mess with his/her things

To Avoid Conflicts with PEACEFUL PHLEGMATICS

  • Share your thoughts in a gentle way
  • Don’t rush them
  • Don’t yell
  • Smile a lot
  • Learn to listen
  • Be cooperative
  • Be patient
  • Keep stress low
  • Communicate often
  • Show understanding
Homework: Choose three from the list that matches your child. Write them on a card or paper and place where you will see it throughout the day.
You may communicate with me by email at: or on FB at:

   I raised three children as a single mother before I remarried. I have experienced the potholes, pests, and perils of being the single head-of-household. As an educator in regular and special education for twenty years I know a great deal about child development and how to handle kids. I am the founder of SMORE for Women, a nonprofit whose goal is Single Moms, Overjoyed, Rejuvenated, and Empowered. I'm a Certified Professional Coach and my stories have been published in several books and magazines. My book, Living Learning Loving is available on Amazon.
Gail smiling in purple suit
Gail Cawley Showalter

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