See Your Man Clearly
Some of us tend to wear rose-colored glasses when viewing men. We see the potential, not the reality. If the guy appears to have qualities we are looking for, we may assume he is everything we are looking for. Be careful. As I’ve said many times before take your time. I know you may be eager to find the right man. Movies are made about this. The problem is you may be too eager. And in your eagerness, you fantasize that each new guy could be “the one.” You let your imagination run away with you. Don’t. Just don’t do this.
When I’ve coached women who are dating I will usually ask, “What did he actually say?” Or I question them about what happened in detail so that they must face reality, not be taken away in a fantasy of their own making.
Here are some questions to ask yourself?
- If I take away the physical attraction what are his best qualities?
- How does he show respect for me?
- Do we really have the same value system?
- How does he treat (or talk about) his mother?
- What do my friends think of him?
- Have we been through an illness, a funeral, or other unpleasant situation together and how did he handle it?
- Does he often correct me in some way?
Be completely honest with yourself. Marriage is a long-term commitment and all of these things will come into play. Be realistic. Don’t rush it.
Related posts: Men Are Different
I am a Certified Professional Coach and I hold a degree from Lamar University in Speech and a Master’s from the University of Texas. I married Sam after raising three children as a single mother. I was an educator in regular and special education for twenty years, finishing my professional career as a Braille teacher. In 2007 I founded SMORE for Women. SMORE is a nonprofit association whose goal is Single Moms, Overjoyed, Rejuvenated, and Empowered. My stories have been published in several Christian books and magazines. My Website.
Gail Cawley Showalter 