You have probably noticed by now, if you have been following my “Religion Reorientation” that I am not one to take scripture literally. This is something my mother taught me when she said never take just one isolated scripture from which to developed a belief.
I attended a church that was affiliated with the Assemblies of God. This was in very small print and I was not aware that I was attending an Assembly of God church. Sam also attended church there.
Sam and I first started seeing each other as friends. I had gone through a hurtful break up and he, too, was feeling uneasy. I quickly got to know Laura, Kate and Kyle, Sam’s grown and almost grown kids. Kate was a live-wire. She was about to graduate from high school. Kyle, a lot like his dad, very good with mechanical things and about to start high school. Laura, the oldest, went to work at the dental office as a dental assistant.
Before long I learned that Kate planned to attend a Bible school in Columbus, Texas supported by Burchfield Ministries. Sam was concerned with thoughts of Jim Jones rolling around in his head. I, on the other hand, thought it was more like a serious summer church camp. Little did I know.
Kate and Johnny met there and developed a different sort of relationship. Kate seemed to think that it wasn’t okay to even kiss before marriage. Where did she get that idea? They planned a wedding, much to Sam’s dismay. They married and decided to go to Kenya as emissaries of Church on the Rock.
Sam and I visited them there. Kenya is a magnificent place with extremes on both ends of the spectrum.
When Kate learned that she was pregnant she came back to the States and Johnny came later.
Their son, Andrew, was born in March 1998. Then came Makena two years later in November 2000. And Butterfly born in June 2003.
They decided to return to Kenya. So with the three little ones they made their way back to Africa.
Eventually they bought a piece of land with the help of a Kenyan, since they weren’t legally allowed to own property there. They built a large barnlike structure using mud and thatch. Kate studied and knew how to do this. With the help of a friend the design came together to create a home for the family. Kate and Johnny brought in nine orphaned girls and raised them as part of their own family.
Kate had three more children and something about their situation troubled me, I just couldn’t determine what her reasoning was. I couldn’t understand the having so many children when they were supported by donations.
The children had an enriching life for the most part. They ate healthy, lots of kale. They spent time outdoors. They were home schooled. Social interaction with others their age, however, was limited.
Even so, it was hard to criticize raising orphans off the grid in Africa.
As years passed, we remained puzzled.
And then the truth came out. After birthing six children in the most difficult circumstances, Kate came out of the closet. She was gay. She thought that by having children, being a good mother and wife and all of her efforts to raise orphans in Africa she could prove to God she was a good person. Of course, she is a good person. All of a sudden it all made sense.
I must admit here, I was furious with the religion that taught her she was less-than. This bright, full-of-life girl who wanted to serve people and mother children was more-than. Members of the LGBTQ community aren’t welcomed in most fundamentalist churches.
The seeds of guilt were planted deeply in Kate and I’m not sure she will ever overcome their poison.
The next post will be in two weeks.
I raised three children as a single mother before I remarried. In 2007 I founded SMORE for Women, a nonprofit whose goal is Single Moms, Overjoyed, Rejuvenated, and Empowered. I’m also a Certified Professional Coach and my stories have been published in several Christian books and magazines. My book, Living Learning Loving is available on Amazon. My Website.
gailshowalterblog.com 