True Love May Not Be What You Think

bullseye with dart hitting center of LOVE

Love Is a Verb

Gail Cawley Showalter
Related posts: Is It Love? Thoughts on Love & Boundaries

At this time of year we think of sweethearts, flowers, candy, cupid, and Valentine’s. We are suckers for the love story in which everyone lives happily ever after. Our little girls dream of being one of the Disney princesses finding their prince.

I seriously doubt that has much to do with love. It may be romance, but not genuine love. I’d like to see us value the kind of love that lasts. Love that lasts through the hard times: the illnesses, the crises, the trouble with raising kids, the loss of a job and even more serious loses. That is real love-tough love. I believe love is a verb. It is something you do, not the way you feel. And yes, it is a choice. Not always an easy choice, but a choice none the less.

There are no perfect unions. No couple has lived out many years of marriage without a disagreement. If they say so, one of them is lying or holding back and living in denial. As Brené Brown said in O magazine, “Professing love is easy. Practicing love takes courage.” She goes on to say, “I believe that love is not something we give.  It’s something we cultivate, allowing our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be seen, and honoring the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, and affection.”

Enjoy Valentine’s Day and at the same time be realistic.

Remember the greatest love came at a great price and it is tough.


  1. Natausha Clark · · Reply

    I grew up with the wrong impression of what love is and because of this I made some wrong decisions. Thank You Mrs. Gail for keeping it real for us single mom’s who need to hear the truth about things like love so we won’t make the same mistakes over again.

    1. I think most of us grew up thinking love was like in the movies or that it is supposed to be. I’m as fond of romance as the next girl but know that true love is much much more than flowers, candlelight, and candy.

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