Sam and I wanted to marry in the church where we met, Cathedral in the Pines, and where most of our friends attended. In order to marry there, however, we were required to sign a document. 

Attempts to Control

Since we were both divorced, they required a document from each of us. It stated that our divorces were scripturally based. Sam refused. I, too, refused because I do not sign documents that deal with  my personal spiritual life. Something about that seems offensive to my privacy. Like the time the leaders of the Baptist church I was attending wanted me to sign a document in order to be a director of a class for single adults. The document stated that I would not associate with anyone who spoke in tongues or attend a church that sanctioned speaking in tongues. The irony was I spoke in tongues, but since I never did so publicly no one knew. Many of my friends also spoke in tongues and attended Cathedral in the Pines. I did not sign it, much to the surprise of the Baptist leaders.

Over many years, I have seen how churches control people. I recall a particularly cold evening when I was attending an event in the Family Life center of our Baptist church. I wore a pant suit; we dared not wear jeans in those days. When I took Treva, a baby at the time, to the nursery, across the parking lot, I was told emphatically, “You better not let Brother Tony, the church pastor, catch you here in those pants.” I was stunned. And also, more than a little offended.

Sam and I

I had introduced Sam to my former pastor, Dr. Gaylon Riddle, and he agreed to drive from Dallas to officiate at our wedding. We married June 15, 1996 in Central Baptist Church, just down the street from where I was born.

Kyle Showalter, Lance Parks, Damon Parks, Me, Sam, Laura Showalter, Treva Parks, Kate Showalter

We had a reception at our new, barely finished, house on Grand Chase in Nederland.

The next entry will post in two weeks.

I raised three children as a single mother before I remarried. In 2007 I founded SMORE for Women, a nonprofit whose goal is Single Moms, Overjoyed, Rejuvenated, and Empowered. I’m also a Certified Professional Coach and my stories have been published in several Christian books and magazines. My book, Living Learning Loving is available on Amazon.  My Website.