Apply Personalities for Positive Results
We all want to have pleasant relationships, especially with those we love and even more especially with our immediate family. Just wanting it doesn’t make it happen. It is much easier when the other person is like us. If the parent and child have the same personality types they will get along more easily than if they have opposing personalities. Even then, competition can develop. By understanding each other’s temperament we can find ways that work for a loving relationship so you don’t have ongoing personality predicaments.
Ways to interact and relate to the personality of your child.
Your Popular child needs your attention, approval, affection and acceptance. When the Popular child talks to you – listen. When he/she asks you to watch him/her do something – watch. When he/she needs encouragement – give a hug. Compliment often and sincerely. If you find yourself in a conflict with the Popular child, remember that she/he needs to be liked and loved. If the conflict involves traits that are in opposition to yours be cautious and mature in your interaction. She/he may be messy but talented. Emphasize the “talented.”
Your Powerful Choleric child needs to have a sense of control of their lives, to be appreciated for their work, and to receive your loyalty. When he/she completes a job or project show your admiration. Let him/her know you noticed a job well done. Allow your Powerful child to do things independently and compliment them when they are done. You may find yourself in conflict with a Powerful child because they do like to be in control of every situation. Identify which of your traits are causing you to be bothered. As the parent you set the boundaries but if you can give the child some power in a given situation both of you will be happier.
Your Perfect Melancholy child needs alone time and space, you to be sensitive regarding his/her feelings and needs your understanding. These children can be prone to depression because they are such deep thinkers. You need to be aware that he/she is not likely to express his/her feelings openly. They can be so sensitive that they will withhold to keep from hurting you. If you are in a conflict with a Perfect you will need to look at what caused it. It could be circumstances related to their perfectionistic tendencies. If you aren’t a Perfect this may be hard for you to understand. When this happens it is good to realize that you have traits that others don’t understand. You will have to compromise and work through the details bit by bit.
Your Peaceful Phlegmatic child needs to feel worthy of your respect, to have quiet time away from people, to have less stress than others and to have peace. Peacefuls are generally kind and laid back. And yet they do have a will of their own and it shows itself when they feel that they are being nagged to do something. For them nagging is asking more than once for them to complete a chore. It is rare that you would get into an argument with a Peaceful. They avoid conflicts at all costs. It takes too much energy. They will listen, however, to reason. Just be quiet about it. Never yell!
Homework: I’m always collecting personality stories. Please share if you have one that relates to this page.
I hold a degree from Lamar University in Speech and a Master’s from the University of Texas. I was an educator in regular and special education for twenty years, finishing my professional career as a Braille teacher. I am a Certified Professional Coach with Fowler International Academy.
I married Sam after raising three children as a single mother.
In 2007 I founded SMORE for Women. SMORE is a nonprofit whose goal is Single Moms, Overjoyed, Rejuvenated, & Empowered. My stories have been published in several Christian books and magazines. My book, Living Learning Loving, Insights and Encouragement on the Path of Motherhood is available for purchase on Amazon.