Boundaries 101

Close-up of unrecognizable loving black mother lying and touching soft feet of baby during daytime sleep

The Very First Boundary

As I begin this series on boundaries I must begin at the beginning. You may not have considered your skin as a boundary. And yet it is. It’s your very first boundary. Your skin, your largest organ, holds all of your organs together. And it protects you in many ways. It’s not just a layer of film. Skin is a complicated and purposeful organ. Burn it, tear it or scrap it and you will soon discover how important and complex it is.

When a child is abused that barrier is broken on an intensely personal level. It is invaded. And the results are life-changing. The HAVOCA is a group that provides Help for Adult Victims of Child Abuse. It’s no wonder that adults or adolescents who were victims of child abuse have trouble with healthy boundaries. They learned early-on that they had no right to personal boundaries. So many of these young women become pregnant way too early because they are yearning for love and craving affection from young men who are all to eager to engage them.

The solution is obvious but unattainable. At least to date we’ve not found a way to prevent parents or their friends from taking advantage of babies and children. We’ve not been able to stop this deplorable cycle. And the sad results continue. I’ve worked with single mothers since 2007 and I’ve heard this story over and over.

If you were a victim of child abuse do you have trouble establishing boundaries in your personal relationships? Do you find yourself repeating relationships that just don’t work? Maybe your very first boundary was broken.

I am a Certified Professional Coach and I hold a degree from Lamar University in Speech and a Master’s from the University of Texas. I married Sam after raising three children as a single mother. I was an educator in regular and special education for twenty years, finishing my professional career as a Braille teacher. In 2007 I founded SMORE for Women. SMORE is a nonprofit association whose goal is Single Moms, Overjoyed, Rejuvenated, and Empowered. My stories have been published in several Christian books and magazines. My Website.

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