3 Needs for Genuine Lasting Love

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3 Needs: Courage – Boundaries – Respect

During this, the Heart Month, you may not think it is related to courage. And yet courage is directed related to the heart.

“Courage is a heart word. The root of the word courage is cor – the Latin word for heart. In one of its earliest forms, the word courage meant “To speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart.” Over time, this definition has changed, and today, we typically associate courage with heroic and brave deeds. But in my opinion, this definition fails to recognize the inner strength and level of commitment required for us to actually speak honestly and openly about who we are and about our experiences — good and bad. Speaking from our hearts is what I think of as “ordinary courage.” ― Brené Brown, I Thought It Was Just Me: Women Reclaiming Power and Courage in a Culture of Shame

COURAGE

Courage is required for a genuine and lasting love relationship. You make yourself vulnerable. You open yourself and share your secrets.

I learned as a young naïve teenage girl trusting could lead to heartache. However, not trusting leads to a life of isolation, boredom, and loneliness.

“It takes courage to love, but pain through love is the purifying fire which those who love generously know. We all know people who are so much afraid of pain that they shut themselves up like clams in a shell and, giving out nothing, receive nothing and therefore shrink until life is a mere living death.” ― Eleanor Roosevelt

After I was dumped rather publicly at a mature age, I learned heartache is the same at any stage of life. It does take courage to let yourself love.

BOUNDARIES

Boundaries are wise when beginning a relationship. We hesitate to establish boundaries when the love-bug bites. I wonder why? People put up fences; they lock their doors and their cars. Why? It’s a boundary. No one considers it rude or offensive. So why do we hesitate to say no when a person oversteps our personal boundaries? It takes courage to say no.

Above all else protect your heart for everything you do flows from it. – Proverbs 4:23

Allowing yourself to be too open early in a relationship isn’t smart. Don’t give away too much too soon. Take the time to get to know your sweetheart.

RESPECT

When you admire a person you treat them well. That is respect.

It takes time to know if a person respects you. You will be more likely to do this if you first respect yourself. Out of self-respect you can create a respectful relationship.

“What does respect look like in a romantic relationship? And how do you go about establishing respect, especially in a relationship where it has been lacking.” Learn more about this HERE.

Courage >Boundaries >Respect

Do you have enough courage to set personal boundaries? Are you willing to risk losing someone by setting a boundary?

I’m a Tough Old Bird now with lots of years behind me. I wish I had said no more often.

What about you?

Related articles:
Learn more about the need for courage in love from Know Courage, Know Love by Paul Coughlin.
6 Ways Love Requires Courage from Psychology Today

gail-smiling-in-purpleI am a Certified Professional Coach and I hold a degree from Lamar University in Speech and a Master’s from the University of Texas. I married Sam after raising three children as a single mother. I was an educator in regular and special education for twenty years, finishing my professional career as a Braille teacher. In 2007 I founded SMORE for Women. SMORE is a nonprofit association whose goal is Single Moms, Overjoyed, Rejuvenated, and Empowered. My stories have been published in several Christian books and magazines. My Website.

 

 

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