3 ways to Have More Bliss
My goal is to empower women, all women. I know what it is to lose your bliss. There have been times when fear overcame me and I didn’t know which way to turn. Usually I was overwhelmed with my own thoughts. Blame was easier than forgiveness. Spewing my mental certainties and expecting others to understand was an unpleasant place to live. Perhaps you’ve been in that tight, tiny place. Uncomfortable, isn’t it?
During those times I wish I had known to avoid JOE. All these years later I do know and my life is much more serene. When I catch myself with JOE I immediately, well almost immediately, shift to a higher place. Let me share what I’ve learned so you can be empowered. JOE is my acronym for peace of mind.
J – Avoid judging. We tend to judge everything and everyone. Turn on CNN or FOX News. Within a sentence or two you will hear judgment. We learn at a young age to make judgments of others. We are:
- Critical of their ways of doing things.
- Critical of their race.
- Judging of how they raise their children.
- Demeaning of their belief system.
- Demeaning of the way they talk.
- Critical of their lack of education.
- Critical of their taste.
- Critical of their choice of clothes and on it goes.
We seldom think we are out of line for judging. But when we put ourselves in the position of judge we aren’t in a happy place. We violate a spiritual law: “Judge not, lest you be judges,” Matthew 7:1. And we don’t feel better for doing it.
O – Avoid Opinions. Why? I grew up in a home where opinions were part of the landscape. Sharing opinions made for lively after dinner conversations. How can that be wrong? When an opinion is expressed it is often a judgment in disguise.
We can get highly sensitive about our opinions. Wikipedia states: “In general, an opinion is a judgment, viewpoint or statement that is not conclusive.” Your way of thinking may be at odds with others. Stating your opinion would be okay if everyone accepted that we all have a right to think differently. However, it has been my experience that people usually express an opinion with the intent of changing someone else’s. We try to convince others that our opinion is right. I like the expression, “You can make your point, just don’t stab me with it.”
E – Avoid Expectations. My expectation have led to disappointments. Certainly reasonable expectation like other drivers stopping at rid lights, are not what I’m referring to.
In relationships we have expectations sometimes without letting the other person know what they are. Then we are angry when the other doesn’t meet our expectations.
Travis Bradberry wrote an article for Forbes titled, “8 Unrealistic Expectations That Ruin You.” The first one is “Life should be fair.” Of course we know life isn’t fair and yet we are disappointed when it isn’t.
Expectations are premeditated resentments.
Avoid JOE and see if you have more bliss. Let me know.
Gail holds a degree from Lamar University in Speech and a Master’s from the University of Texas. She was an educator in regular and special education for twenty years, finishing her professional career as a Braille teacher. She is a Certified Professional Coach with Fowler International Academy. She married Sam after raising three children as a single mother. In 2007 She founded SMORE for Women. SMORE is a nonprofit association whose goal is Single Moms, Overjoyed, Rejuvenated, & Empowered. Her stories have been published in several Christian books and magazines. Her book, Living Learning Loving, published in July 2015, is available for purchase on CreateSpace, Amazon, or Barnes & Noble online.