Do You Feel Pain?


How do you feel your pain?

We don’t all experience pain in the same way. Some carry a loss for years, while others seem to get over a loss or disappointment rather quickly.

Related post: Brief video about grieving a loss

I’ve experienced grief on many levels. Basically grief is the heartache of having to accept the loss of someone you were not ready to let go of. As I write this I just learned of the death of my Aunt Villa. If you read the “Gift Shop Miracle” you will remember Villa as the pancake maker. She was a part of my life growing up as were her two sons, my cousins. We can celebrate her ongoing as she was 99 years old.

Others are not so easy. My only brother’s died four years ago. I still have trouble with it. I am almost angry about it, but that is silly, right? I wasn’t ready for him to go.

The grief after my divorce was acute for a long time. Sometimes a television commercial could bring me to tears. I simply didn’t know how to get over it. About the time I thought I was okay, another circumstance would rear it’s ugly head and I was off again.

I spoke with a widow this week. It’s been over six years since she lost her husband suddenly. Her whole world was shaken and she hasn’t been able to move on.

Grief takes energy. It drains the soul. Eventually you have to accept the loss as a very real part of your life. If you don’t the consequences aren’t pretty.

We all grieve differently.

Gail in purple speaking with hand gesturesGail raised three children as a single mother before she remarried. She has experienced the potholes, pests, and perils of being the single head-of-household. As an educator in regular and special education for twenty years she knows a great deal about child development and how to handle kids. She is the founder of SMORE for Women, a nonprofit whose goal is Single Moms, Overjoyed, Rejuvenated, and Empowered. She is a Certified Professional Coach and her stories have been published in several Christian books and magazines. Her book, Living Learning Loving is available on CreateSpace, Amazon, and Barnes and Noble online.




  1. I grieved the death of my marriage for an insanely long time. After years of good therapy one day my counselor responded to me with one heartfelt sentence and I just felt heard and understood on a level that I never had before and it was a major turning point for me in my grief recovery. I also took a 13 week grief recovery class. I want single moms to know that their feels are not right or wrong they just are… And also do not be ashamed to ask for or to seek help; it is a sign of strength not weakness to do so.

    1. I so appreciate your comments. And it is true asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness.

    2. Grief counseling and Grief Recovery is excellent.

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