Single Moms, Ask Yourself: Who Am I and How Do I Think? Learn to be Self-Aware

Personality is the peculiar, incalculable thing that is meant when we speak of ourselves as distinct from everyone else.”  – Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest

Enneagram with cartoons

Enneagram-Arrows show which way you go when relaxed and at your best.

The Enneagram is a study of the nine basic types of people. Though, it is not simple it is valuable in learning about your God-given personality or nature. We are each individually and wonderfully made. This is not to imply we can compare one another as we would if we were cut from cookie cutters. It is simply a tool to assist you in becoming self-aware as you grow into the person you were created to be.

Here are some points taken from The Enneagram Made Easy by Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele 

Psychological need or ego fixation of each of the 9 types

Type 1: The Reformer – To be good, to have integrity, to be balanced.

Type 2: The Helper – To feel loved.

Type 3: The Achiever – To feel valuable and worthwhile.

Type 4: The Individualist – To find themselves and their significance (to create an identity).

Type 5: The Investigator – To be capable and competent.

Type 6: The Loyalist – To have security and support.

Type 7: The Enthusiast – To be satisfied and content—to have their needs fulfilled.

Type 8: The Challenger – To protect themselves (to be in control of their own life and destiny).

Type 9: The Peacemaker – To have inner stability “peace of mind.”

Positive Things to Say to Yourself

(Including other names given to each number)

#1    The Perfectionist or the Reformer or The Rightness Seeker

It is OK to relax and enjoy myself.

I’m OK even when I make mistakes.

I am learning not to take myself so seriously.

I am perfect just the way I am.

I will ask for what I want and need.

#2    The Helper or The Love Seeker

I am as important as everyone else.

It is as important for me to receive love and help as to give them.

I will speak up for what I want.

I do not have to give to be loved.

It is important for me to spend some quality time by myself.

#3    The Achiever or Image Seeker

My feelings are at least as valuable as my accomplishments.

The most profitable work I can do is to take time to relax and to grow.

I measure my worth by my own standards.

#4    The Romantic or The Individualist or Identity Seeker

I will value each day, no matter how imperfect.

I will relax and enjoy the present.

I am at home in my body, the world, and the universe. At the heart of my life, all is well.

I am beautiful, capable, and lovable, just as I am. There is nothing to make up for.

I can be as kind to myself as I am to my best friend.

#5    The Observer or The Investigator or Knowledge Seeker

Interaction and experience are necessary for real understanding.

I will experience being an individual fully when I empty myself of my preconceived ideas and categories.

I don’t have to be the smartest person.

#6    The Questioner or The Loyalist or The Security Seeker

Being prepared means trusting whatever each moment brings.

I am strong. I am calm. I can do this.

I am OK today, I’ll be OK tomorrow.

I am learning to trust my own decisions.

It is OK to take risks and make mistakes.

#7    The Adventurer or The Enthusiast or The Stimulation Seeker

Truth and clarity are in sight when dark is balanced with the light.

I have enough. There is enough. I need no more.

#8    The Asserter or The Challenger or Power Seeker

I will show my soft and loving side to those I trust.

Good relationships are worth many small compromises.

#9    The Peacemaker or Peace Seeker

I will ask for what I want.

I will learn to recognize my resentment and use it as a source of energy.

I will even let myself feel guilty rather than rush to fulfill another’s expectations.

I have what it takes. I am enough.

The Enneagram allows for movement. You have “wings.” on either side of your number. You shift into traits based on your state of mind at the time.

Notice on the Enneagram, the arrows showing which direction each number goes to when they feel secure. It is possible for each number to cultivate the traits of the number they go to. When stressed the person will move in the opposite direction, against the arrow and demonstrate negative traits of that number.

There are, however, things you would never dream of doing.

Some examples:

#1 Being half an hour late to work

#2 Accepting all compliments with a simple “thank you” and not discounting them

#3 Not taking over the meeting when it is being run inefficiently or ineffectively

#4 Deciding that soul-searching is too trite and giving it up

#5 Throwing a big party

#6 Being confident they had made a wise choice after making a major purchase

#7 Finishing all the books they were reading before starting a new one

#8 Not stating their opinion when they strongly disagree with what is being said

#9 Confronting someone face-to-face in an extremely critical manner


Suzanne Stabile:

One comment

  1. […] posts: Find Your Strengths, Learn to be Self Aware, Know Yourself, Personalities Help the Family-a very brief […]

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