Saying Goodbye – Grieving the Loss of a Loved One

Grieving a Loss is one of the SMORE themes. This article offers helpful advice.

By Sara Payne

We can all expect to experience myriad losses throughout our lifetime. Whether we  lose a friend, a lover, a pet or family member, we need to be encouraged and allowed to grieve that loss thoroughly: this is especially important if we experience a significant loss in childhood. We all have our own manner of grieving, even though there are specific stages outlined by psychologists as the “proper” way. I believe we all must find our own individual way of saying goodbye in order to fully move on with our lives.

I just lost my sweet companion-my orange tabby Ginger-after 17 years of being the blessed recipient of her unconditional love and devotion. It makes no difference whether our loss involves a person or a beloved pet: it still leaves a feeling of emptiness and pain that has the ability to take us spiraling downward. Our emotions can be expected to ebb and flow throughout the process of letting go of anyone–or anything–that held deep meaning in our lives. If we remember to just strap ourselves in, the emotional ride will eventually smooth out and place us firmly back on our feet again.

If we don’t grieve our losses as they occur, we may find that each loss we experience could feel disproportionately more overwhelming than it might otherwise: creating a “piling effect”. It is normal as emotional beings to have and express our feelings and it is extremely important that we do so in healthy, cathartic ways.

Here are 4 suggestions that will help you navigate more smoothly through the grieving process:

1. Recognize your emotions as they creep up and allow yourself to release them before they overwhelm you: never suppress them as they will then–over time–become more powerful, making them more difficult to control. Release your angst by journaling, talking to someone you trust with your feelings, having a good cry or in any other healthy way that feels relieving. Many of us have the opinion that crying equates to weakness and fight this emotion. Tears are natural or we wouldn’t have them in the first place!

2. It is healthy to talk about our loss and remember what that person or pet meant to us. Honoring them in this way will help you keep the positive feelings and wonderful aspects alive and allow the pain of the loss to diminish in a shorter period of time. After all, most of us would want to be remembered for our contributions and how we lived rather than how we may have suffered or deteriorated towards the end.

3. Time really does heal all wounds if you remain proactive in the process of letting go and restructuring your life in a way that feels good to you each and every day. Maintaining as much “normalcy” as possible will help you through this process.

4. It is harder for the person left behind than the one who transitions to the afterlife. We feel the hole left by their passing and tend to project that emptiness and pain onto them, fearing that they are somehow suffering right along with us!

The truth is they are now free and it is up to us to free ourselves as well.

Sara L. Payne, C.Ht., is the author of the powerful new book, “Heart-Hugs: Your Pathway to Love!” Her book is filled with tips, tools and techniques that will empower and assist you in creating changes: simply, easily and effectively!

Sara uses her skills and expertise as a certified hypnotherapist, empowerment coach and self-mastery educator to assist her clients in improving their lives in a myriad of ways. She has helped hundreds over the last 11 years to successfully change their mind and their world.

What in your world do you want to change? You Can Do It NOW!

(Complimentary phone consultation for new clients)

For more information, please visit:

Article Source:

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: